March MadnessThe NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, March Madness, is suddenly here. Office-workers all over the US are getting their bracket picks ready, employing tactics like getting their cousin’s “secret” predictions, or picking team names out of a hat.

But picking a march madness bracket is serious work, so SportsCityLine presents - “Ten Things You Need to Know Before Picking an NCAA bracket”

1. Be one with your bracket.

Filling out your bracket is not an act to be taken lightly. For optimal results, you need to really become one with that empty grid. How do you do that? Find a secluded room, put on some inspirational music at full blast (Suggestions: David Barrett’s “One Shining Moment” or Tina Turner’s “Simply the Best”, and really be the bracket. When all that zen starts kicking in, you’ll start seeing the right answers. Trust me, they’ll appear. Think Russell Crowe in “A Beautiful Mind”, but with Joe Lunardi as the love interest instead of Jennifer Connelly.

2. Tune out what the “experts” are predicting.

The dirty little secret of March Madness that the TV networks and Internet sites don’t want to let you in on? The experts have no better of an idea who’s going to win it all than you do. Seriously. In fact, they may even have less confidence in their picks than you. It’s their jobs to be bold and take risks. As is the case with preseason football predictions, it does the talking heads on TV no good predicting the favorites to win every game. As we learned through the Super Bowl, the few “experts” who picked the Giants let everyone know they did so for the three weeks following the game (see here: FOXSports.com-Super-Bowl-expert-picks). Each year, the talking heads make their picks, their squads inevitably lose in the Sweet 16, and then they immediately adjust and ride some other school as the new “team to beat”. It’s as if those predictions from a week earlier were never even made. Hands clean. The lesson? No matter how loud these men caked in makeup are screaming — tune them out. Go with your gut, instead.

3. Avoid everyone’s “sleeper” picks.

A “sleeper” team is usually a squad seeded from 6 to 12 that is expected to make a run in the tournament. If everyone’s buzzing about a particular “sleeper team”, your best bet is to stay away. Why? Because the popular sleeper teams are never the ones that actually make any noise. In recent years, the few lowly-seeded squads that have made runs to the Final Four have all either been a) mid-majors that have come out of nowhere, or b) big programs that shocked the world. George Mason was no one’s sleeper pick in ‘06. In fact, that was the year Billy Packer and Jim Nantz railed against the selection committee for giving the mid-majors too much love on Selection Sunday. If everyone’s high on a certain lowly-seeded team — keep your distance. For those who jumped on the Nevada train in ‘06 or the Old Dominion boat last year — this is, of course, old news.

Teams to avoid this year: West Virginia, Davidson, St. Mary’s, Kansas State, Miami (Florida), USC

4. Make a lunch date with Doris from Accounting.

On the surface, Doris — with her “Cathy” comics taped up on her cubicle and her undying love for felines — does not appear to be a college basketball wiz. Yet, year in and year out, she somehow finds herself winning the office NCAA tournament pool. What’s her secret? What’s Doris know that the rest of us do not? Sure, she plays it off like she just is so “gosh darn lucky,” but don’t let that fool you. It’s all an act. Doris knows something. Scratch that. Doris knows everything. Have a grilled cheese with Doris on Tuesday. Pick her brain. Become Doris. And then — and only then — should you fill out your brackets.

Teams to avoid this year: Any of the top seeds Doris has losing in the first few rounds.

If Tennessee makes the Final Four, don’t bet on Bruce Pearl’s team winning it all. (Dave Martin / Associated Press)

5. Value coaching experience.

There are a lot of young “up and coming” coaches in college basketball these days. Real bright shining stars. And that’s great. But none of them stand a chance of winning it all come March Madness. The last time a coach participating in his first Final Four actually won the NCAA championship was 1999, when Jim Calhoun’s Richard Hamilton-led Connecticut Huskies beat Duke for the national title. Since then, every title-winning coach — Tom Izzo in ‘00, Mike Krzyzewski in ‘01, Gary Williams in ‘02, Jim Boeheim in ‘03, Calhoun (again) in ‘04, Roy Williams in ‘05, and Billy Donovan in ‘06 and ‘07 — had at least one Final Four appearance already under his belt. You’ve got to walk before you can run. Or something like that.

Teams (and coaches) to avoid this year: Tennessee (Bruce Pearl), Wisconsin (Bo Ryan), Xavier (Sean Miller), Stanford (Trent Johnson), Drake (Keno Davis)

6. Don’t go with Client Number 9.

No number 9 seed has ever won an NCAA title. Only one No. 9 — Pennsylvania in 1979 — has ever even made a Final Four. Intrigued by the taste of one of the 9 seeds this year? Promptly spit (zer) them out. Yuk Yuk! Hey, bad jokes are as much a part of the workplace as the office pool.

Teams to avoid this year: Arkansas, Oregon, Kent State, Texas A&M

7. Beware of the “Unbeatables”.

When it comes to March Madness, undefeated and one-loss teams are by no means sure things. In fact, the last undefeated or one-loss team to win a national title was the 1976 Indiana Hoosiers. That’s 32 years! Since then, San Francisco in ‘77, Larry Bird’s Indiana State squad in ‘79, LaSalle in ‘90, UNLV in ‘91, UMass in ‘96, Kansas in ‘97, Duke in ‘99, St. Joe’s in ‘04 and Illinois in ‘05 have all entered the NCAA tournament with either zero or one loss(es). Not one of those teams ended the season as champions. Weird stat. Sorry, Coach Cal.

Team to avoid this year: Memphis

8. Don’t be convinced by what Joe Water Cooler in your office says.

You know Joe Water Cooler. He’s the guy that goes on and on about why “The Wire” is the most important thing on television right now, despite having never actually seen an episode. He’s the guy who sends inappropriate YouTube clips in mass emails to you and all of your colleagues. He’s the guy that carries two Blackberrys and wears a BlueTooth to every meeting. Awesome guy, really. His thoughts on college hoops? Ignore them. Joe Water Cooler historically sides with the Big East powers from the ’80’s and the two big schools on Tobacco Road.

Teams to avoid this year: Duke, North Carolina, Georgetown, Villanova

9. If you don’t like the New York Yankees, avoid the Kentucky Wildcats.

In one of the weird cosmic links in the sports world, the success of the Kentucky Wildcats seems to be oddly intertwined with the success of the Bronx Bombers. Kentucky’s won seven national titles — second to only UCLA, which has won 11. In six of those seven years — 1949, 1951, 1958, 1978, 1996, and 1998 — the New York Yankees ended up winning the World Series six months later.

The victims:

1949 — Oklahoma State and the Brooklyn Dodgers
1951 — Kansas State and the New York Giants

1958 — Seattle and the Milwaukee Braves

1978 — Duke and the Los Angeles Dodgers

1996 — Syracuse and the Atlanta Braves

1998 — Utah and the San Diego Padres

10. Don’t limit yourself.

Let’s face it. Even with all of these tips, there’s a good chance you won’t win your office pool. To increase your odds of winning something over the next few weeks, spread your wings and jump into everything you possibly can. Don’t limit yourself to just your men’s NCAA tournament office pool. Fill out a women’s tournament bracket, start up an NIT office pool, draft a rotisserie baseball squad, heck — get involved in one of those American Idol fantasy leagues. Keep your options open. Enjoy the next few weeks. Win something.

As for my tournament bracket? Well, I just got finished listening to “One Shining Moment” on loop, ignored the guy reciting Dane Cook jokes at the water cooler, and chatted with Doris over some split pea soup. I’ve never felt more confident.

Final Four: North Carolina, Kansas, UCLA, Pittsburgh
Finals: Kansas, UCLA

Champion: UCLA